June 2007

About two years ago I started to not want to leave my apartment. It wasn’t that I wanted to stay home, I just didn’t want to go anywhere. I’ve always handled my shitty moods and stuff with wanting to go out, seeking out places where there are lots of people and preferably alcohol involved. I used to go to pubs several nights a week. I made stupid jokes. I got drunk. I made out with strange people just to see if I could. I studied hard, I worked hard and partied even harder. I was fun to be around. It wasn’t always so fun to be me; especially not when I ended up going home with people I really shouldn’t have gone home with, like a friend-turned-fuckbuddy’s brother. Oops.

But then I got fed up. I started having more panic attacks (not knowing that was what it was, of course), my stomach started acting up; I had to call in sick for work because I threw up in the morning when I realized I had to go there. Basically, my body was like “WTF dude, you need to calm down”. And gradually, going out started losing it’s charm. It was more pain than it was worth. I rather stayed at home, reading, internetsing, just doing nothing.

At first there was no problems with keeping in touch with my friends, they came over and played video-games, or had coffee, or just hung about. It was nice.

But recently, I’ve started noticing we’re drifting apart. They don’t call me, and I stopped calling them when I realized they had so much going on they almost always had to turn me down when I suggested we’d hang out. It sucks. I know I’m probably not the most fun person to be around right now, seeing as all I do is play the Sims, chat online or take walks with the dog, but I thought we had a friendship that relied on more than getting drunk together. It just doesn’t happen much right now, basically. I can’t tell them stories of all the stupid things I did while drunk, or at all, because my best ones they’ve already heard or saw happening; and I don’t do stuff like that anymore. I’d really like to spend time with them still, and if they’d just ask me, I’d probably tag along on stuff they do. But they don’t ask me. Or they ask Boyfriend if WE want to do stuff, and when he says he can’t but they should ask me, nobody asks.

I don’t want to whine, I don’t want pity, I just want my fucking friends back. I know I could just pick up the phone and call, but it sucks hearing them say they don’t have time to see me. I’d like to have some dignity left.

And then I saw them all today on the yearly picnic/soccer-thing. And I realized we don’t have that much in common anymore. They still lead the kind of life I did two years ago, and I sit around and do nothing. I guess these things happen. People grow apart, move, get married, have kids and stop being friends. But it sucks so bad.

And I miss them. I miss the me I was with them, too.


Woke pretty early today, for me at least. Don’t really know why, I usually sleep longer. Something felt weird. Read for a little while, not really able to pinpoint what the uneasyness came from. Finally got up, no appetite, hard to have breakfast. It kind of smells funny here too. I’ll take SillyDog out on a walk, will report back later.

Just got back from walk with SillyDog. He is clearly troubled by something, he kept sniffing the air and whimpering. He sometimes does that for no apperant reason, but combined with the funny smell and my feeling that something isn’t right made me jumpy, though it is midday and the sun is shining. We didn’t take a long walk. SillyDog found some sort of bird foot under a shrubbery. Who the hell leaves a chicken foot in the middle of a suburb, next to a house?

Met some IBM workers from the office next to our house. Must have had a office party or something, they looked pretty unsteady, kinda shuffled when they walked and they were gray in the face. Probably had too much to drink yesterday. Glad they kept their eyes averted because I couldn’t help but stare.

Boyfriend just took SillyDog for a second walk. SillyDog seems to be even more ADD today than usual. Boyfriend wanted me to come too, but I didn’t want to go out again. I know I keep saying it, but there’s something not right here. I think he was irritated with me, he mumbled something about that if I had gone longer this morning, maybe SillyDog would be sleeping calmly now. I haven’t told him about the smell or my uneasyness. I want to see if he notices too.

Found this just now. Zombie uprising? O RLY? I’m pretty easily fooled, but come ON.

Will continue updating through the day, anyway. Zombies are too good to pass up.

Boyfriend came back from walk complaining of odd smell. I knew it! I might be crazy, but I’m not THAT crazy yet. SillyDog is still refusing to be still. He is more disturbed by this than we are, and both Boyfriend and I are pretty spooked now. I’ve reloaded the majer news sites, but no mention. Reports of zombies keep coming in here though. My net friend Britpoptarts is reporting weird sounds on her roof, and persistent sirens going off. We live next to the fire station, but it is quiet here. More quiet than usual, even. A murder of crows almost flew through the window just now. The hell?

ZOMG. I’m listening to the radio, Christer i P3, they have some sort of listener-call-in about what makes the kid in you happy. People are calling in reporting supposed zombie sightings, though. The radio show host is trying to keep it light, but the panic in is voice is apperant. I hope they don’t break the transmissions, though. I don’t know why the news doesn’t say anything. Are they trying to keep it quiet?

Still not convinced it IS zombies, though. Oh well. I will have a lookaround when walking SillyDog next time he needs to go out. I can’t stay in all day just because people’s imaginations are running rampant, besides our neighbours have already complained he makes too much noise. Keeping him inside all day will not make him calmer.

Right, I’m now convinced. Gray-faced shuffling stinky people are coming in hordes from the IBM office. I’ve always suspected something was amiss with the IBM workers, but zombies? This is too much. The stench is pretty bad now, too. The IBM zombies are moving towards the restaurants they usually go to for lunch. I guess old habits die hard.

As Rowandoll reports, this is all over the world now. It seems Sweden was late in the epidemic. I’m pretty glad the worst bits didn’t happen while I was asleep though, I wouldn’t have wanted to wake up to hoards of zombies roaming the streets.

I wonder if this has something to do with the heatwave. Most countries that seem to be affected are warm ones, and the last couple of days it’s been insanely hot here.

I’m NOT looking forward to SillyDog’s next walk. Must stock up on weapons; too bad Sweden has harsh gun laws. It’d be neat with a gun right about now.

And re: VĂ„rmamma’s comment. This is affecting animals now, too? Zombie bears… I hope this gets under control somehow!

Mhayinde reports that the zombies will leave you alone if you are covered in their blood. Good to know for SillyDog’s next walk. Must bring some sort of weapon, too. I hope the IBM zombies are still in their favourite restaurants, though. It seems to have only affected IBM so far in my neighbourhood. I wish they’d locked the doors to the office building before they got out.

Got back from a walk with SillyDog a while ago. Managed to take som photos with the camera in my cellphone; they aren’t the best of pictures but they might illustrate something at least. I brought a knife with me and hoped the smell of rotting flesh from the IBM zombies would be enough to get SillyDog to defend me if the zombies would attack. Boyfriend went along too. If I’m going to die in the Zombiecalypse, I sure as hell ain’t going alone.

Through the front door
Photo taken from the inside of our apartment building; IBM office visible behind tree.

I was prepared for the zombies to be all over the streets, but strangely enough the streets were empty. When we went by the restaurants the IBM worker usually eat at, we saw them through the windows. They watched us from inside, but none of them tried to go after us. Maybe they prefer to be on known places, or they were satisfied with eating the kebab meat? I suppose the owners of the kebab place had a worse time, though. I’ll just say we probably won’t be having falafel for awhile, is we survive this.

IBM office building
Took a picture of the IBM office building, which seemed to be empty. I guess the office zombies took the rest of the day off.

I went round the back of another building in the vicinity, and found signs of a struggle and possible other anti-zombie fighters.
I wonder if the small Ericsson flag is a sign that Ericsson employees are affected too?

I also found something smelly wrapped in an old tarp.

I didn’t have to lift the tarp to know what it was. The smell gave it away. No other signs of the anti-zombie fighters though, maybe they fled. I’m still surprised by the calm of it all, and by the fact that the outbreak seem to be limited to IBM (and possibly Ericsson). This doesn’t follow the pattern of the other cities and places this happened in. Strange.

Well, I was wrong; it isn’t confined to the IBM workers, and the streets are no longer deserted. I don’t know what made it change; perhaps it was the change in weather, the cooler temperature made them more active? I heard they spontaneously combust in warm enough weather. Not that it’s been very hot here today, but if zombies can err on the side of caution I think that’s what they did. The question is how our Swedish zombies found this out. Are all zombies connected, somehow? Are they part of some sort of hive mind, a zombie Borg? Or, is it that the zombie plague in fact originated within IBM; and the word has gotten back from other, hotter, areas?

Anyway, hell if I’m going to go out any more today, or ever again if the zombies aren’t beaten somehow. I have no weapons; certainly no long-range one, and I will NOT go close enough to use short-range weapons. I’ll stay indoors, watch crappy TV, close the windows and blinds and be glad I live on the third floor. They’re not getting in here. SillyDog will have to survive being without walks somehow, the neighbours will have to live with it. Knowing my neighbours though, there will be passive-aggressive notes in the entrance asking zombified occupants to clean up their drool and any dropped limbs.

Damn the lack of alcohol in the apartment, I need a DRINK.

I’m logging off, see you tomorrow (if we’re not all undead by then).

What this is about.

See, for awhile, I was under the impression that the singer in Fall Out Boy just needed some lessons in how to A R T I C U L A T E, considering that any and all songs by FOB are completely incomprehensible, even if you try to read the lyrics while you listen. Maybe his toungue is just too big for his mouth, or he had to have it in a cast as a child and never regained full movement and control; or he labours under the false theory that the mumbling makes him seem mysterious.

Now, I don’t think so any more. I think he does it on purpouse. I think he does this because the YouTube spoof videos trying to decipher his mumblings give FOB more publicity than MTV could ever give them. I wouldn’t even know of FOB if not for the YouTube parodies of their songs.

So; well played, Fall Out Boy. Just wish you might start with lyrics that actually makes sense, when you cut out the mumblings.

And, the mandatory YouTube links to illustrate what I mean: